Last Fall, I found myself in an oncologist’s waiting room. When the nurses were checking my vitals, they asked if I had a living will. My heart skipped a beat. My son was turning one in a few weeks and I felt like our future was being ripped away from me.
As parents, we pour so much love and energy into making sure our kids are safe, healthy, and happy. From baby-proofing the house to reading every ingredient they consume, we’re constantly thinking about their future. But one topic we often avoid is what happens if we’re not here to make those decisions.
Estate planning might sound like something for “later,” but having a will or trust isn’t just about wealth, it’s about providing clarity, protection, and peace of mind for your loved ones. To dig deeper into why this is so important, I called up one of my closest friends who also happens to be an incredible attorney – Trish Butcher from Arch Legacy Firm. I asked Trish to answer some of the questions that have been on my mind—and maybe yours, too.
Here’s what I learned:
What is estate planning, and why is it important for parents specifically?
Estate planning is the process of making legal and financial arrangements to protect your family and assets in the event of death or incapacity. For parents, it’s especially critical because it isn’t just about money, it’s about making sure your children are cared for by the right people, that they don’t receive assets too young, and that your wishes are followed. Without a plan, a judge who doesn’t know your family could decide who raises your kids and how your money is managed.
What’s the difference between a Will and a Trust? How do parents know which one is right for them?
- Will: A Will names guardians for minor children and directs how assets should be distributed after death. However, it must go through probate court, which can be costly, time-consuming, and public.
- Trust: A Trust allows you to avoid probate, keep control over how and when assets are distributed, and ensure a smoother transition for your children. A Trust can also protect against mismanagement, lawsuits, and unnecessary taxes.
Parents typically benefit from a Trust if they own a home, have minor children, or want to keep their family out of court. A Will may suffice for very simple situations, but most families want the flexibility and protection of a Trust.
What happens to minor children if a parent passes away without a Will?
If there’s no Will, the court decides who will raise your children. Even if family members step forward, the judge makes the final call. This can lead to disputes, delays, and emotional turmoil for your kids. Worse, if no suitable guardian is available, your children could temporarily be placed in foster care until the court resolves guardianship.
How does naming a guardian work?
In your estate plan, you can legally nominate both permanent guardians (who would raise your children long-term) and emergency guardians (who could step in immediately if something happens). At Arch Legacy Firm, we also provide families with tools like medical powers of attorney for kids, caregiver instructions, and ID cards so that first responders know who to call. This ensures there’s never a gap in protection.
Are there common misconceptions parents have about estate planning?
Yes, some big ones:
- Thinking a Will alone avoids probate (it doesn’t).
- Believing estate planning is only for the wealthy.
- Assuming their children will automatically go to the right family member.
- Thinking they can “just write something down” and it will hold up in court.
These myths often leave families vulnerable and unprotected.
How often should parents revisit or update their estate plan?
We recommend reviewing your plan every 3 years or after major life changes, like having another child, moving to a new state, buying or selling a home, or a significant shift in finances. Laws change too, so regular updates ensure your plan always works the way you intend.
What role does financial planning play in estate planning?
Financial planning and estate planning go hand-in-hand. Estate planning creates the legal framework, but financial planning ensures your assets are properly aligned with it. For example, life insurance, retirement accounts, and investment accounts need to have the correct ownership or beneficiary designations. If those aren’t coordinated, your estate plan may not work as intended.
What advice would you give to parents who feel overwhelmed by the process or don’t know where to start?
Start small. You don’t have to figure everything out at once. Begin with the most urgent step – naming guardians for your kids. Then, work with an attorney who can guide you through the rest in a way that feels manageable. We use a step-by-step process designed to reduce stress and give parents peace of mind.
How can parents ensure their estate plan reflects their values, like teaching children about responsibility or charity?
This is where a Trust shines. You can set conditions on when and how children inherit… for example, giving funds for education, matching income to encourage hard work, or setting aside money for charitable giving. Your plan can be customized to instill the values you want to pass down, making it not just about wealth, but about legacy.
After my conversation with Trish, I realized that estate planning is one of the greatest gifts we can give our families. It’s not about expecting the worst. Instead, it’s about preparing for the unexpected so that our loved ones are protected.
If you haven’t started your estate planning journey, take it one step at a time. Reach out to a professional, like the team at Arch Legacy Firm, who can guide you through the process with compassion and expertise.
Our children depend on us to think ahead, and this is one way we can keep looking out for them even after we’re gone.
